“This article is part of The Belief Bucket series, where we debunk common myths about alcohol and its perceived benefits.”
- Introduction: What is the Belief Bucket?
- Myth #1 – Relaxation (Alcohol helps me relax) ← you’re here
- Myth #2 – Happiness (Alcohol makes me happy)
- Myth #3 – Reward (Alcohol is my reward)
- Myth #4 – The Rosy Effect (Remembering only the good times)
- Myth #5 – Taste (Alcohol tastes amazing)
- Myth #6 – Social Ally (Alcohol helps me socially)
- Myth #7 – Sleep (Alcohol helps me sleep)
- Myth #8 – Moderate Drinking (Our obsession)
- Myth #9 – Boredom (Alcohol solves boredom)
- Myth #10 – The Buzz (Alcohol feels amazing)
Why We Believe Alcohol Relaxes Us
It’s easy to see why this one sticks. One drink in and your shoulders drop. The edge from the day softens. A little wave of calm washes over you.
And in that moment, it feels like relaxation. So the brain does what it always does: it makes the connection and says, alcohol equals calm.
But here's the thing: What you’re feeling isn’t relaxation. It’s a chemical reaction.
What’s Really Going On Inside
Alcohol slows brain activity and gives you a quick bump of dopamine. That combination quiets your thoughts for a moment, and the quiet feels like peace. But it’s not real rest. It’s more like hitting the pause button.
Then, as your body starts processing the alcohol, it pushes out stress hormones like cortisol to restore balance. And what happens next? That moment of calm is followed by tension, unease, and sometimes anxiety.
So what looks like relaxation is really just numbing followed by stress. A cycle that tricks us, every time.
What True Relaxation Feels Like
Think back to when you were a kid. No deadlines. No to-do list. No worry about tomorrow. Just lying in the grass, watching the clouds roll by. That’s real relaxation.
It feels safe. Light. Easy. Your body lets go. Your mind feels free.
Now compare that to drinking. The kind of “relaxation” alcohol gives you is:
- Short-lived
- Shallow
- Followed by fallout you have to clean up later
And those aftereffects? They often look like:
- Anxiety the next morning
- Irritability as alcohol leaves your system
- Fatigue that clings for hours or even days
Think about a holiday where you drank every day. In the moment, it might have felt like unwinding. But when you got home, you needed another break just to recover.
That’s not relaxation. That’s recovering from self-inflicted stress.
Four Ways Alcohol Pretends to Relax You
The tricky part is that alcohol doesn’t always fool us in the same way.
1. Total Inebriation
Sometimes, what we call “relaxation” is really just being sedated.
Enough alcohol and your nervous system slows down so much that you stop worrying. Not because your stress is gone, but because your brain is too dulled to care.
The cost?
- Hangovers
- Memory gaps
- Physical stress as your body detoxes
That’s not peace. That’s brain malfunction followed by punishment.
2. Pre-Inebriation
Have you ever noticed how sometimes you feel calmer even before the first sip? You pour the drink, let out a breath, and already feel lighter.
That’s not even the alcohol doing anything. It's just anticipation. It’s your mind saying, “Soon I’ll escape.”
The comfort isn’t real. It’s expectation. True relaxation doesn’t depend on what’s in the fridge or how quickly you can get numb.
3. Easing Cravings and Withdrawals
This one’s sneaky. If you haven’t had a drink in a while, you might feel restless, edgy, or even irritable. That’s often mild withdrawal. Your body’s asking for the chemical it’s used to.
When you finally drink, the discomfort fades. It feels like relief. But really, you’re just calming the storm alcohol created in the first place.
The same thing happens with mental cravings. If you’ve been thinking about drinking all day, that first sip feels like peace. But it’s not peace. It’s just the end of agitation caused by alcohol.
4. Confusing Relaxation With Drinking
This is the most common trick of all. Many of us drink in the same situations we naturally unwind. After work. On weekends. On holiday. When we finally get to sit down.
Over time, our brain merges the two. So when we put our feet up with a glass, it feels like the drink is making us relax. But the real reason we’re relaxing is because the workday is over, or we’re with friends, or we’re resting.
When alcohol is gone, the first few times might feel odd, like something’s missing. But that’s just conditioning. The relaxation was never in the drink. It was in the moment.
The Stress Cycle Trap
Here’s the hamster wheel alcohol sets up:
- Alcohol creates stress and anxiety in the body.
- We feel regret or shame about drinking.
- We get frustrated that we can’t seem to stop.
- We drink again to get rid of the anxiety and frustration.
And around and around we go. Each round takes more energy. Each round leaves us a little emptier.
The only way off is to step away from the wheel completely.
What Happens When You Break the Cycle
Here’s the good part. When alcohol leaves the picture, your body and brain get a chance to reset.
You start to feel real calm. Not the numbed, chemical kind, but the steady kind that comes from simply living. You wake up clear. You feel steady during the day. You don’t have to wrestle with rebound anxiety or wonder what you said the night before.
Your baseline mood lifts. That jittery edge softens. And suddenly, you realize this is what relaxation was supposed to feel like all along.
Non-drinkers know this feeling well. They’re not “stronger” or “better” at relaxing. They just aren’t living with the chemical stress alcohol constantly creates.
Why the Belief Is So Convincing
So why does this myth stick so tightly? Because in the moment, alcohol does change how we feel. It creates a shift we mistake for relaxation.
But the truth is:
- Alcohol doesn’t teach you to relax. It teaches you to depend on it.
- The calm it gives you is borrowed relief from stress it caused.
- The cycle leaves you with more tension, not less.
It’s like putting a bucket under a leaking roof and calling it fixing the problem. Sure, the water’s not on the floor anymore, but the leak is worse.
Finding Real Relaxation Again
If you want real relaxation, here’s what matters:
- Recognize that alcohol doesn’t solve stress, it fuels it.
- Pay attention to the real sources of tension in your life.
- Practice ways of unwinding that actually build you up, like walking, reading, music, breathwork, or simply sitting in quiet.
At first, it may feel strange. Your brain will fight it because it’s used to the shortcut. But with repetition, those natural methods start to feel normal again. And instead of numbing yourself into stillness, you actually give yourself true rest.
The Truth
Alcohol doesn’t relax you. It tricks you. It hands you a moment of quiet, then takes more than it gives.
But when you remove it, you find something deeper. A calm that doesn’t fade when the glass is empty. A peace that’s steady, reliable, and yours to keep.
And that kind of peace? That’s real freedom.
— Brent
Next in the series: Myth #2 – Happiness (Alcohol makes me happy) →