This article is part of The Belief Bucket series, where we examine ten common beliefs about alcohol.
- Introduction: What is the Belief Bucket?
- Belief #1 – Relaxation (Alcohol helps me relax)
- Belief #2 – Happiness (Alcohol makes me happy) ← you’re here
- Belief #3 – Reward (Alcohol is my reward)
- Belief #4 – The Rosy Effect (Remembering only the good times)
- Belief #5 – Taste (Alcohol tastes amazing)
- Belief #6 – Social Ally (Alcohol helps me socially)
- Belief #7 – Sleep (Alcohol helps me sleep)
- Belief #8 – Moderate Drinking (Our obsession)
- Belief #9 – Boredom (Alcohol solves boredom)
- Belief #10 – The Buzz (Alcohol feels amazing)
If alcohol really made us happy, the people drinking the most should be the happiest. Most of us know that isn’t how it works.
We can remember plenty of good nights when alcohol was there. We laughed, talked for hours, celebrated something or finally felt like the week was over.
Alcohol was part of those memories, so it was easy to give the drink credit for the good feeling. And a drink could give us a quick lift. We might feel lighter, less worried or more interested in what was happening.
But a change in feeling isn’t the same as happiness.
So what part did alcohol really play, and what was already there before we drank?
A lot of the happiness was already there
Think back to the nights we remember as happy drinking memories. There may have been people we liked, music, food, a celebration, a good conversation or just the relief of the week being over. None of that came from the alcohol.
Take away the people, the event, the music and everything else that made the night enjoyable. Leave us alone with a bottle for eight hours and it doesn’t look much like happiness.
The drink was there, but it wasn’t the whole reason the night felt good. Many of us already knew how to laugh, enjoy music, spend time with people and feel proud of something before alcohol became part of those moments.
We could feel better before we drank anything
Sometimes our mood started lifting as soon as we knew we were going to drink.
We finished work, made plans or started getting ready. And suddenly the evening felt more exciting.
The first drink hadn’t done anything yet. We were already feeling better because we knew it was coming.
And that makes sense. If we’ve spent years expecting drinking to mean fun, relief or a good night, we might start feeling better as soon as we know we’re going to drink.
So some of that lift may have already started before the alcohol did anything.
A quick lift isn’t the same as happiness
For a short time, drinking can change our mood. We might talk more, laugh more easily or stop thinking about whatever was bothering us.
That part isn’t imaginary.
But it doesn’t always last. The lift fades, we have another drink and the night can go from lively to foggy without us noticing.
Maybe what felt like happiness was just the early part of the buzz. Then the rest of the drinking caught up with us.
And afterwards, there might have been poor sleep, low energy, anxiety, regret or a flat mood that lasted much longer than the lift did.
If we mainly remember that first lift, alcohol can seem much better than it was. The poor sleep and flat mood came with it.
Heavy drinking can make everything else feel flat
For heavy drinkers, this belief can feel even more true.
After years of getting a quick, strong feeling from alcohol, normal things might not have felt like much. A quiet evening, a meal or a conversation could seem dull next to what we expected from a drink.
So it was easy to believe alcohol was the only thing making life enjoyable. But drinking may have been part of why everything else felt flat in the first place.
When we stop, it can take time for ordinary enjoyment to feel normal again. That doesn’t mean alcohol was our source of happiness.
After drinking that way for years, we were used to feeling a quick change.
So what did alcohol really add?
We don’t need to tell ourselves that every drinking memory was miserable. That wouldn’t be true for most of us.
We can just look at what was already there before the drink.
Were we happy because of the alcohol, or because we were with people we cared about? Had something good already happened? And did the drink improve the whole night, or only the beginning?
Maybe alcohol added something for a short time. Other times it might have made one part of the night feel easier.
And how did we feel afterwards?
Alcohol wasn’t the whole reason we were happy
The people, the laughter, the achievement, the music and the feeling of the week being over were all real. Alcohol may have been there, but it didn’t create any of it.
And without alcohol, those parts of life don’t disappear. They may feel unfamiliar or a little flat for a while, but they’re still there.
A drink may have lifted our mood for a short time. Then it could leave us feeling worse for much longer.
Alcohol was part of some happy nights. That doesn’t mean it was what made those nights happy.
Next, we’ll look at the belief that “Alcohol is my reward”.
— Brent
Next in the series: Belief #3 – Reward (Alcohol is my reward) →