This article is part of The Belief Bucket series, where we examine ten common beliefs about alcohol.
- Introduction: What is the Belief Bucket?
- Belief #1 – Relaxation (Alcohol helps me relax)
- Belief #2 – Happiness (Alcohol makes me happy)
- Belief #3 – Reward (Alcohol is my reward)
- Belief #4 – The Rosy Effect (Remembering only the good times)
- Belief #5 – Taste (Alcohol tastes amazing)
- Belief #6 – Social Ally (Alcohol helps me socially)
- Belief #7 – Sleep (Alcohol helps me sleep)
- Belief #8 – Moderate Drinking (Our obsession)
- Belief #9 – Boredom (Alcohol solves boredom) ← you’re here
- Belief #10 – The Buzz (Alcohol feels amazing)
Some of our heaviest drinking nights didn’t start with stress, celebration or a big craving. They started with, "There’s nothing to do."
We were at home, nothing much was happening and we didn’t feel like doing anything. So we poured a drink.
The same room felt different. The same television seemed easier to watch. We had something to look forward to every time the glass got low.
And because the boredom was less noticeable, it looked like alcohol had fixed it.
What did we have at the end of the night? We got through the evening, but did we really enjoy any of it?
Alcohol gave us something to do
There’s the first drink, the next pour, checking how much is left and deciding whether we need more. We might message someone, watch videos, scroll for hours or put music on and sit in the same place. Once we’re drinking, it can feel like we’re doing something, even if we’re sitting in exactly the same place.
The alcohol can make us notice the boredom less for a while. But we’re still in the same room doing the same thing.
The night could still go nowhere
Think about a typical night when we drank because there was nothing else to do.
What do we remember from it? Was there anything we really enjoyed or would want to do again? Or did we sit in the same chair, watch things we barely followed and go to bed later than we meant to?
Other times, the night ended in an argument, messages we regretted or another morning we had to recover from.
Alcohol could make the evening feel a bit better while we were drinking. But it could also leave us with less energy and interest the next day.
Then the next evening arrived, and we had even less desire to do anything.
How boredom drinking became automatic
If we drank whenever we had nothing to do, "Nothing to do" could quickly start meaning, "Have a drink."
We didn’t need to sit down and make a careful decision. The thought might come up as soon as we got home or the evening went quiet.
After a while, alcohol became our automatic answer to boredom, just like it might have been after work or when we felt stressed. And because we kept drinking, we rarely tried anything else.
Why ordinary things can start feeling boring
The first drink can change the feel of the evening very quickly.
Most other things take more effort. Cooking, going for a walk, calling someone or starting something new won’t change how we feel as quickly.
So we choose the drink because it works faster. And if we keep doing that, we can lose interest in things that take a little effort at the beginning.
We might tell ourselves there’s nothing to do, when what we mean is that nothing changes how we feel as quickly as alcohol. If we keep choosing the drink, we might stop bothering with things we used to enjoy.
Why evenings may feel flat at first
When we stop drinking, boredom can feel stronger for a while. Without the usual drink, the evening can seem long and things we used to enjoy may not feel very interesting yet.
That flat feeling is real. For some of us, life can feel dull after quitting, especially after a long period of heavy drinking.
It doesn’t mean life without alcohol is going to stay that way.
It can take time before ordinary things start feeling enjoyable again. And we also need to get used to having evenings that aren’t built around pouring the next drink.
At first, we might not know what to do with all that time. We haven’t had to think about it for a long time.
We don’t need to make every evening exciting
And we don’t have to fill every minute or find a brand-new life by Friday.
Some evenings are boring. Some are quiet. And sometimes we’re tired and need to do very little.
We can start small. Call someone. Make proper food. Go outside for ten minutes. Watch something we’ll remember. Finish one job we’ve been putting off. Or just go to bed early if we’re exhausted.
None of that has to feel amazing. We’re just finding out what happens when boredom doesn’t always lead to a drink.
We could still feel bored. But if we don’t drink every time, we might start finding other things we enjoy.
Alcohol only made a few empty hours easier to ignore. Then the next evening came around, we had nothing to do and we were back in the same place.
The final belief is about whether the alcohol buzz is worth it.
— Brent
Next in the series: Belief #10 – The Buzz (Alcohol feels amazing) →