“This article is part of our series, The Belief Bucket, where we debunk common myths about alcohol and its perceived benefits.”
- Introduction: What is the Belief Bucket?
- Myth #1 – Relaxation (Alcohol helps me relax)
- Myth #2 – Happiness (Alcohol makes me happy)
- Myth #3 – Reward (Alcohol is my reward)
- Myth #4 – The Rosy Effect (Remembering only the good times)
- Myth #5 – Taste (Alcohol tastes amazing)
- Myth #6 – Social Ally (Alcohol helps me socially) ← you’re here
- Myth #7 – Sleep (Alcohol helps me sleep)
- Myth #8 – Moderate Drinking (Our obsession)
- Myth #9 – Boredom (Alcohol solves boredom)
- Myth #10 – The Buzz (Alcohol feels amazing)
Why We Believe Alcohol Helps Us Socially
It’s a common belief. “Alcohol helps me loosen up. It makes social events easier. It’s the glue that keeps my friendships together.”
This idea is so ingrained that it can feel strange to even picture socializing without a drink in your hand. Think about it. Work happy hours, weddings, weekend barbecues, family gatherings. Alcohol is almost always there. It’s sold to us as the key to bonding and good times.
But here’s the truth. Alcohol doesn’t make us social. It just numbs our natural anxiety and creates the illusion of connection.
Friendships Based on Alcohol
If we rely on alcohol to keep certain friendships alive, it’s worth asking:
- Is this person truly my friend?
- Would our friendship be strong without alcohol?
- Do I enjoy their company when I’m sober?
- Do they enjoy mine without drinks involved?
If any answer is “no,” that’s a red flag.
Many of us have what I call “alcohol buddies.” These are friends who only exist when drinking is part of the plan. The moment you stop drinking, they stop calling. That’s not friendship. That’s a drinking partnership.
True friends stick around when you’re sober. In fact, many friendships get stronger without alcohol because you’re more present, genuine, and able to connect in meaningful ways.
Our Time Is Precious
Time is one thing we can never get back. If being around someone requires alcohol just to make it tolerable, then why are we giving them our limited time?
We deserve to be with people who love and respect us for who we are, not for what’s in our glass. Relationships like that give us energy. Alcohol-based connections usually drain it.
When you quit drinking, some people will drift away. That’s not only okay, it’s healthy. It creates space for people who value the real you.
Do We Really Need Alcohol to Build Bonds?
A lot of people think alcohol “breaks the ice” or makes bonds form faster. Yes, it can lower inhibitions, but that doesn’t mean it builds authentic connection.
With the right people, connection happens naturally. You don’t need to impress them. You don’t need alcohol to feel closer. True bonds don’t require intoxication.
Sometimes we put pressure on ourselves to bond with everyone. But we don’t need to be everyone’s best friend. Some connections will always be surface-level, and that’s fine. Alcohol will not change that.
Alcohol Doesn’t Make Us the Life of the Party
Another belief is, “Alcohol makes me fun, outgoing, and the life of the party.” But more often than not, that’s just alcohol messing with our self-perception.
A few drinks in, we might feel like we’re hilarious and charming. The reality? We might just be louder, less filtered, and maybe even a little annoying. If you’ve ever been sober around drunk people, you know how different things look from the outside.
If you’re naturally extroverted, you can still light up a room without a drop of alcohol. If you’re introverted, you don’t have to be the loudest person there to be appreciated. Alcohol doesn’t make you entertaining. It just changes your perception of yourself.
Social Anxiety and Alcohol
For many, alcohol feels like the answer to social anxiety. One drink and the nerves seem to vanish. But here’s what’s really happening:
- You’re numbing the anxiety temporarily
- You’re avoiding discomfort instead of learning to manage it
- You’re reinforcing the belief that you can’t handle social settings without it
Over time, this builds dependency. Not just on alcohol, but on the idea that you can’t cope without it.
Feeling shy is normal. Most people feel awkward at first in new situations. Kids experience it all the time. They warm up naturally once they feel safe. Adults can do the same. It just takes practice.
Rebuilding Natural Confidence
Social confidence is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets.
Here’s how to build it without alcohol:
- Accept the Awkwardness
A little awkwardness at the start is normal. Let it be there instead of trying to erase it with a drink. - Focus on the Other Person
Ask about them. “How do you know the host?” “What brings you here?” “What do you do for fun?” Most people love to talk about themselves. - Have Exit Strategies
If you’re uncomfortable or bored, it’s fine to end the conversation politely and move on. - Use Visualization
Picture yourself enjoying an event without alcohol. Imagine laughing, connecting, and feeling relaxed. Your brain often can’t tell the difference between imagined success and real experience.
Planning Your Responses
If someone offers you a drink, keep it simple:
- “No thanks, I’m good with this.”
- “I’m driving tonight.”
- “I’m taking a break from drinking.”
Most people won’t push past that.
Dealing With Drink Pushers
There’s always one person who says, “Come on, just one!” This has more to do with them than with you. Your choice not to drink can make them feel self-conscious.
Smile, say “No thanks,” and change the subject. If they keep pushing, walk away. You never have to explain or defend your choice.
The Reward of Socializing Sober
Once you start socializing without alcohol, a shift happens:
- Your confidence becomes real, not borrowed from a bottle
- Your connections get deeper because you’re fully present
- You leave events feeling proud instead of anxious or regretful
Many people discover their social life actually improves after quitting alcohol. They spend more time with people who matter, have more energy, and remember every moment clearly.
Why This Belief Is False
Alcohol is not a social ally. It doesn’t strengthen friendships or fix social anxiety. It only gives the illusion of doing those things.
Real connection doesn’t come from alcohol. It comes from showing up as your genuine self.
— Brent
Next in the series: Myth #7 – Sleep (Alcohol helps me sleep) →