Mindfulness series - Part 2 of 2
Part 1: What mindfulness is and why it helps
Part 2: Present moment thinking ← you’re here
A thought about one drink can turn into an argument about the rest of our life.
We picture tonight, the weekend, the holiday, the wedding next year and every difficult day that might come after it. Within seconds, we're trying to decide whether we'll ever drink again.
Right now, we only need to decide what we're doing next.
What's happening right now
When we want a drink, the mind starts predicting.
"This feeling won't pass." "The evening will be boring." "I won't sleep." "I'll never relax properly again."
Because we're feeling it right now, those predictions can sound believable. Mindfulness helps us separate what's happening now from everything our mind says is coming later.
A thought, a pull in the body, a picture of the first sip and a whole story about the evening can all turn up at once. That's why "I need a drink" can sound so convincing.
Try changing the wording to, "I'm having the thought that I need a drink." That gives us a second to notice the thought before we do anything with it.
It also helps to notice the physical part. The urge might feel like restlessness, tightness, a hollow feeling or the pull towards the usual routine.
Let's say we get home after a difficult day and head straight towards the place where we used to keep alcohol. Stopping for a few seconds may be enough to notice the tense jaw, the empty stomach and the thought that tonight has already been ruined. Once we notice all of that, we can decide what to do next.
The urge usually moves
An urge rarely stays at exactly the same level. It might build, ease off and come back a few minutes later.
We can rate it from zero to ten, wait five minutes and rate it again. It may be higher, lower or exactly the same.
Then we can see whether anything has changed. Five minutes later, we know more than we did when it first hit. We may also notice that hunger, tiredness, tension or the end of the working day is adding to it.
Keep the decision small
Bring it back to what's happening around us. What can we see or hear? Are we tense, hungry or tired? What do we actually need to do next?
We don't have to solve next Christmas at six o'clock tonight. We might only need to make dinner, leave the shop, take a shower or wait twenty minutes before deciding anything.
If we're in the bottle shop, we walk outside. If we're at home staring at the clock, we put some food on a plate and move to another room. Now we have something else to do.
When the mind jumps to next weekend or next Christmas, bring it back to tonight. When it jumps to the rest of our life, bring it back to the next twenty minutes.
If the usual Friday-night thought comes back, we can say, "There it is again," and carry on with what we're doing.
When it keeps building
A thought might pass quickly, or it might hang around and keep pulling our attention back. If the urge keeps building, we can use other practical craving tools, change what we're doing or check whether hunger, tiredness or tension is making it worse. We can leave the room, eat, take a shower, call someone or use another craving tool.
The thought may still sit in the background while we deal with the next thing in front of us. If it pulls our attention away, we notice and come back to what we're doing.
— Brent