Observing Thoughts and Urges

Mindfulness Series - Part 3 of 4

Part 1: What Is Mindfulness in Recovery
Part 2: Mindfulness and the Brain
Part 3: Observing Thoughts and Urges ← you’re here
Part 4: Making Mindfulness a Daily Practice

When the Mind Starts Spiraling

You’re in the middle of your day, maybe working or alone with your thoughts, and suddenly it shows up.
That urge to pour a drink.
That loop of anxious or negative thoughts.
That subtle restlessness that builds into pressure.

It doesn’t always shout. Sometimes it whispers. Sometimes it slips in when you’re tired or stressed. But it’s there.

This is the moment where mindfulness stops being a nice idea and becomes a real tool. It’s what helps us stay grounded instead of reacting.

Mindfulness Means Noticing Without Getting Pulled In

Most people picture mindfulness as sitting in silence with their eyes closed. But really, it’s about noticing what’s happening without automatically reacting to it.

It’s the skill of creating space between:

• A thought and your response
• An emotion and your reaction
• A craving and your next move

That space is where our power lives. And it starts with learning to observe.

You Are Not Your Thoughts

Back in Part 1, we touched on the idea that thoughts aren’t facts. Here’s where we put it into practice.

We all have thousands of thoughts a day. Some are helpful. Most are just noise.

In recovery, this is even more important to recognize. Our brains might send thoughts like:

• “I can’t do this.”
• “One drink won’t hurt.”
• “This is too hard.”
• “I need to escape this feeling.”

Mindfulness teaches us something simple:

• Thoughts are not facts.
• Thoughts are not commands.
• Thoughts are just thoughts.

They come and they go. We don’t have to follow them.

The Practice of Observing Thoughts

Here’s something to try.

Next time you feel a craving or a wave of self-doubt, tell yourself:
“This is a thought. I am not this thought.”

Then pause. Take a breath. Watch it. Name it. Let it pass like a cloud drifting across the sky.

We don’t have to suppress it or figure it out. We just have to witness it without attaching to it.

Urge Surfing: The Mindfulness Craving Tool

In Part 2, we looked at why urge surfing works in the brain. Now here’s how to do it in real life, step by step.

Urge Surfing in 5 Steps

1. Notice the urge
   Tell yourself, “I feel the craving.” It’s not a failure, it’s just a signal.
2. Locate it in your body
   Is it tightness in your chest? Tension in your stomach? A rush of energy?
3. Describe it like a wave
   “It’s rising… it’s peaking… now it’s falling.”
4. Breathe through it
   Inhale slowly. Exhale longer. Focus on your breath, not the urge.
5. Watch it pass
   Like all waves, it will fade. Each time you ride it out, you build trust in yourself.

Every time we choose not to act on a craving, we weaken the old habit loop. We’re not suppressing it, we’re changing our relationship with it.

Mindfulness During Cravings vs Everyday Moments

People often ask, “Should I only practice mindfulness when I’m craving?”

The answer is no. The opposite, actually.

The more we practice when we’re not triggered, the easier it is when we are.

Think of mindfulness like training a muscle. If you only work out during a crisis, you won’t have the strength when you need it. Train regularly, and the skill becomes second nature.

Practice When It’s Quiet So You’re Ready When It’s Not

Micro-Practice #1: 10 Conscious Breaths
Do this anytime: before work, after a call, before lunch. Inhale for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat ten times. Notice your body. Notice your mind.

Micro-Practice #2: Thought Watching
Set a timer for 3 minutes. Sit quietly. Every time a thought comes up, label it:

• “Worry”
• “Craving”
• “Planning”
• “Judging”

Then let it go and return to your breath.

Micro-Practice #3: Emotional Check-In
Once a day, ask yourself:

• What am I feeling right now?
• Where do I feel it in my body?
• Can I breathe into it instead of resisting?

Why This Works

By observing instead of reacting, we:

• Lower the intensity of cravings or emotions
• Interrupt automatic behavior patterns
• Build trust in ourselves
• Create emotional space and resilience
• Strengthen the brain areas that handle impulse control

We’re not avoiding the craving. We’re meeting it with calm curiosity. And that’s what changes everything.

What If I Get Swept Away Anyway?

We will sometimes. That’s part of the process.

Mindfulness isn’t about never getting pulled into a spiral or urge. It’s about noticing sooner, staying present longer, and recovering faster.

Each time we pause, observe, and return, we’re building capacity.

Staying Grounded

Cravings and difficult thoughts will still show up. That’s just part of being human.

But they don’t have to run the show.

With mindfulness, we can:

• Recognize the craving
• Observe the thought
• Stay grounded
• Choose instead of react

That’s real freedom. And the more we practice, the more natural it becomes. Not perfect or rigid, just steady, clear, and deeply empowering.

— Brent

Next up: Making Mindfulness a Daily Practice