Cravings, Decoded - Part 2 of 7
Part 1: What Causes Alcohol Cravings
Part 2: The Craving Escalation Cycle ← you’re here
Part 3: When Mental Cravings Feel Physical
Part 4: Double-Barrel Alcohol Cravings
Part 5: Hidden Triggers That Mimic Alcohol Cravings
Part 6: How to Weaken Alcohol Cravings Over Time
Part 7: Practical Tools for Managing Alcohol Cravings
By the time a craving feels unbearable, we might have been building it for quite a while.
We’ve pictured the drink, imagined the relief, worked out where we’ll get it and gone over whether we should have it. Then we say the urge came out of nowhere.
The thing is, we often didn’t notice the earlier parts because they felt like ordinary thinking.
The first cue
Something starts the old pattern.
It could be the end of work, an argument, a celebration, a memory or the uncomfortable way we feel as alcohol wears off.
At this point, we may not want a drink yet. The situation has just brought alcohol to mind. That first cue matters because it gives us an early chance to notice what’s happening.
The passing thought
Then a short line appears: “A drink would be good.” “I could pick something up on the way home.” “Maybe I’ll just have one tonight.”
A thought like that isn’t a decision. But if we treat it as useful and keep following it, the craving starts to build.
The drinking rehearsal
Now we start adding detail.
We picture opening the bottle, the first mouthful and the moment the pressure drops. We might imagine where we’ll sit or what we’ll watch.
And we usually stop the picture at the nicest part. We don’t include the extra drinks, the poor sleep, the anxiety or tomorrow’s promise to stop again.
That kind of overloaded drinking rehearsal can make the drink feel more and more real.
The argument starts
Once the drink looks appealing, another part of us starts arguing back.
We remember why we wanted to stop. Then the other side produces an exception: today was hard, we’ve been good, this weekend is different or one night won’t do much.
We can go over the same points for an hour. And after a while, the argument itself starts creating pressure. Deciding to drink can feel like relief because the debate finally ends.
This is where the mental shortcut can take us straight to the first drink.
The urge now feels urgent
After we’ve pictured alcohol and argued about it for long enough, it can start to feel physical.
We might become restless, tense, distracted or unable to think about much else. Not drinking now seems far harder than it did when the first thought appeared.
That doesn’t mean the craving was always this strong. We’ve been feeding it by thinking about the drink, looking forward to the relief and telling ourselves drinking will end the discomfort.
Catch the earliest part we can
We won’t always catch the first cue. Sometimes we’ll notice when we start picturing the drink. Other times, we’ll only realise once the argument is underway.
Wherever we notice it, that’s where we stop feeding it. We can name the cue, move out of the situation, eat, contact someone, change what we’re doing or remind ourselves how the whole night normally goes.
And if the pressure is alcohol wearing off, we name that separately instead of treating it like an ordinary thought cycle.
We don’t need to defeat a craving at its worst if we can stop helping it grow. The earlier we see what we’re building, the more choices we still have.
What this might look like on an ordinary evening
We finish a difficult call and think, “I could really use a drink.” That’s the cue and the first thought.
Then we picture buying alcohol on the way home. We imagine the first glass and start telling ourselves tonight is different.
If we catch it there, we can stop the rehearsal, take another route, eat and tell someone what has come up.
The original stress may still be there. At least we haven’t spent another hour turning it into a drinking plan.
Seeing the stages gives us more than one chance to stop the whole thing building.
— Brent
Next up: When Mental Cravings Feel Physical