Most of us don’t realize we’re in a cycle until it’s already repeating.
We drink, we regret it, we promise to cut back — and then, before we know it, we’re back at square one. Again.
It’s not because we’re lazy, or broken, or weak.
It’s because we’re caught in something predictable — a loop that runs quietly in the background.
One of the most common versions of that loop? It’s what I call the WARF cycle:
Withdrawals. Anxiety. Regret. Frustration.
It often starts subtly, with our bodies reacting to the absence of alcohol. Let's look at the first stage.
Stage 1: Withdrawals — The Quiet Starting Point
You wake up after drinking and feel… off.
Maybe it’s physical: grogginess, dehydration, restlessness.
Maybe it’s mental: irritability, impatience, low mood.
These aren’t just random bad days — they’re mild withdrawals.
Your body, used to its regular dose of alcohol, is reacting to its absence.
And here’s the trick: we often don’t recognize them.
So instead of treating the cause, we reach for the “solution”… another drink.
Next comes the emotional rebound, where anxiety creeps in, making us crave relief.
Stage 2: Anxiety — The Emotional Rebound
Even after a drink calms the edge, it sets us up for the next wave: alcohol-induced anxiety.
As the alcohol leaves your system, your stress hormones spike.
Your nervous system tries to rebalance.
The result? You feel wired, on edge, unsettled — often for no clear reason.
This isn’t “just anxiety.” It’s withdrawal-driven tension created by alcohol.
After the haze lifts, regret sets in, reminding us of our intentions.
Stage 3: Regret — When the Fog Lifts
Once the buzz fades, clarity returns — and along with it, regret.
- “Why did I do that again?”
- “I was supposed to cut back…”
- “I feel like I’ve let myself down.”
Whether the regret is mild or heavy, it pulls us into a place of judgment.
And that opens the door to…
Stage 4: Frustration — The Loop Reinforces Itself
Frustration with ourselves, with the habit, with how hard it feels to change.
We think:
“I should know better.”
“Why can’t I just stop?”
“Maybe I’ll just moderate…”
And then — we drink to escape that frustration.
Which restarts the cycle.
Understanding this cycle isn't about blaming ourselves; it's about recognizing the system at play.
WARF Isn’t About Willpower — It’s a System
Once you see this pattern, it’s hard to unsee it.
The loop isn’t personal. It’s mechanical.
Alcohol creates a problem, then disguises itself as the solution.
And we stay stuck, not because we’re unaware — but because we haven’t interrupted the loop.
The First Step Out? Awareness.
You don’t have to fight the whole cycle at once.
You just need to see where you are in it.
- If you’re in withdrawals, hydrate. Move. Breathe.
- If you’re in anxiety, know it’s temporary. It’s chemical, not permanent.
- If you’re in regret, let it inform you — not define you.
- If you’re frustrated, pause. You’re not failing. You’re waking up.
The more clearly we see WARF, the easier it becomes to step out of it.
Because it’s not who you are — it’s just a loop.
And every loop can be broken.
— Brent