Quitting can feel so much harder than it “should.”
It’s not because we don’t understand the reasons to stop. It’s not even because we’re lacking discipline.
It’s because we’re not fighting logic. We’re working against a much older, much deeper system that’s been running the show for years.
The Real Battle: Conscious vs Subconscious
You wake up full of regret, telling yourself today is the day. You feel determined. You’re done.
By evening, you’re pouring another drink.
It’s not because you’re weak. It’s because something deeper, something you can’t always see, is calling the shots.
Our conscious mind might be clear about wanting to quit. But our subconscious is still wired to crave. That subconscious is faster, more reactive, and more emotionally charged than logic will ever be.
That’s why quitting can feel like a split-screen experience:
One part of you is desperate for change. The other part is already halfway to the fridge.
The subconscious makes decisions for us before we even realize it. It runs on autopilot. The only way out is to reprogram it.
We’ve essentially got two systems in charge. One is deliberate and slow. The other repeats whatever it has learned, whether it still serves us or not.
The Two Minds Explained
The Conscious Mind
This is the part we’re aware of. The part that reads the books, makes the plans, sets the goals. It’s thoughtful and rational. It takes its time.
The Subconscious Mind
This is the hidden driver. It runs 90 to 95 percent of our daily behavior. It stores our habits, beliefs, emotions, and all the patterns we’ve repeated enough to become automatic. It reacts instantly without asking for our permission.
This is why we can keep drinking even when we’ve made the clear decision not to.
Our subconscious still believes alcohol is the solution. Unless we change that belief, the craving will always find its way back.
Why We Crave Without Choosing To
The subconscious loves efficiency. It uses what I like to call Default Thought Processes. These are mental shortcuts it has built over time to save energy.
If you’ve been drinking to unwind, cope, socialize, or reward yourself for years, your brain has created quick, automatic pathways:
- “Tough day? Grab a drink.”
- “Dinner out? Time for wine.”
- “Feeling tense? A beer will help.”
We don’t sit down and consciously choose these thoughts.
They just appear, like blinking, because the brain has linked certain feelings or situations with alcohol. It has reinforced that link through action, emotion, and the temporary “reward” we felt afterward.
Unless we update those loops, our brain will keep replaying them, even if we’ve decided to quit.
And here’s the truth: alcohol cravings don’t go away by sheer resistance. They fade when we replace them with something stronger.
Rewiring: How Change Really Happens
The brain can’t juggle dozens of thoughts at once. When stress or discomfort shows up, the subconscious rushes in quickly.
You feel tight in your chest.
You’re irritable after a rough day.
You walk into a space where you used to drink.
And just like that, the old track plays:
“Alcohol will fix this.”
It doesn’t ask for your input. It just does what it's been trained to do.
This is why willpower feels so exhausting. We’re not simply saying “no” to a drink. We’re resisting the most well-rehearsed pathway in our brain.
The solution isn’t to push harder. The solution is to build a new pathway. One that eventually feels just as automatic but points us toward something better.
Intentional Thought Processes: Building New Loops
We can create new loops using Intentional Thought Processes. These are conscious, repeated reframes that show our brain a new way to respond.
Think of it like updating software. Maybe your current program runs:
“Drinking helps me relax.”
With enough repetition, you can install a new one:
“I can relax in ways that actually restore me.”
At first, the new thought feels thin. Weak. Like it’s not enough to compete with the craving. But each time you repeat it and back it up with action, you strengthen it.
The more you run that loop, the more it becomes your brain’s new default.
Catching the Thought in Real Time
Here’s where it matters most.
You walk in the door after work. You’re tired. It’s quiet. And your brain whispers:
“This is the moment. One drink will help you reset.”
Pause. Take a breath. And respond:
“No. It’s not the drink I want. It’s relief. I can get that in better ways.”
Maybe you step outside and let the air hit your face. Maybe you put on music. Maybe you stretch, shake out your shoulders, or text a friend.
It’s not about the exact action. It’s about interrupting the loop.
Change doesn’t start in giant, dramatic moments. It starts in these small, repeated choices that slowly shape your new identity.
Neuroplasticity: The Science Behind the Shift
Neuroplasticity is your brain’s ability to rewire itself based on what you do and think.
When you try something new, whether it’s a thought, an action, or even an emotion, your brain lays down a new connection.
Repeat that enough, and it turns into a well-worn path.
Right now, your craving pathway might be like a smooth, fast freeway. Your new belief might feel like a dirt trail in the woods.
But every time you take that trail, it gets clearer. The old road starts to fade. Eventually, the new path is the one that’s automatic.
How Alcohol Tricks the Subconscious
Alcohol doesn’t just affect your body. It creates false mental associations that your subconscious clings to.
1. Withdrawal Relief Masquerading as Relaxation
You drink. Withdrawal symptoms fade. Your brain records, “That drink relaxed me.” But it didn’t. It just temporarily fixed a deficit alcohol caused in the first place.
2. Social Cues Reinforced With Alcohol
You’re laughing with friends, music playing, feeling connected, and you’re holding a drink. Your brain links alcohol with that connection. But the joy came from the people, the atmosphere, the moment. Alcohol just happened to be there.
3. Emotional Numbing Reinforced as Coping
You drink to dull grief, boredom, or anxiety. The feeling eases briefly. Your brain logs it as “This worked.” And so it recommends it again next time, even though you know it made things worse later.
The subconscious doesn’t judge whether something’s good for you long-term. It only remembers what eased discomfort in the moment.
Interrupting the Pattern in Real Time
Let’s say you’re heading to a social event. You’re nervous.
In the past, you drank to loosen up. Tonight, you want to stay alcohol-free.
Your brain will almost certainly offer the old “solution”:
“Just one. It’ll take the edge off.”
Here’s the move. Catch it. Not with shame. Not with a lecture. Just with awareness.
“My brain thinks this will help. That’s just the old loop talking.”
“What I really want is to feel calm and connected.”
“Alcohol won’t give me that. But being present, breathing, and leaning into the moment might.”
Every time you do this, you’re not just saying no. You’re literally rewiring your brain.
What Change Feels Like
In the beginning, it feels awkward. Forced. Like you’re thinking too hard.
Then, it starts to feel possible.
Eventually, it feels natural. Like this version of you, the one who doesn’t drink, was here all along. You just had to clear out the noise.
That’s when you know your subconscious has caught up. That’s when it gets easy.
Not because you’ve turned into some self-control superhero, but because the desire itself is gone.
This isn’t about gritting your teeth. It’s about retraining your mind so the old loop doesn’t even play anymore.
What It All Comes Down To
We don’t keep drinking because we’re broken.
We keep drinking because our subconscious thinks it’s helping.
That old code was built through repetition, not truth. And it can be rewritten.
When we stop asking, “How do I resist?” and start asking, “How do I retrain my mind?” everything changes.
Cravings lose their power.
Triggers dissolve.
Alcohol stops being a constant thought in the background.
That’s not white-knuckling. That’s freedom.
And it starts one new thought at a time.
One pause at a time.
One belief rewired until it sticks.
— Brent