Tomorrow's drinking decision often starts today. We think about the dinner, the difficult meeting or the empty evening, then begin deciding what it will mean before it happens.
"Everyone will be drinking." "I'll need something after that day." "There's no way I'll enjoy it sober." If we keep repeating that version, we arrive already believing alcohol is necessary.
We can make drinking the easiest option without noticing
When we expect to drink, we prepare for it. We leave alcohol in the house, avoid making another plan and picture the relief of the first glass. We might work until we're completely drained or reach the event hungry because we've given no thought to anything except the drink.
Then alcohol feels inevitable. But part of that feeling comes from the way we've arranged the hours leading up to it.
Think through the difficult part, not a perfect day
Tomorrow doesn't have to be easy for the plan to work. A useful plan includes the part that could catch us. If everybody orders wine, what will we say and what will we order? If the urge appears on the drive home, where are we going instead of the shop?
This is simply thinking through the situation before we get there. We picture the point where the old routine usually starts, then give ourselves another next step.
The detail makes it easier to follow. "I won't drink tomorrow" is a decision. "I'll eat before the event, drive myself and leave after dinner" is a plan we can follow.
Plan the first few minutes after a trigger
The drinking thought often grows in the gap between something happening and us deciding what to do. Work finishes, an argument ends or we walk into the room and see the bar. If that gap has no plan, the old answer gets there first.
So decide the first action. We might put food on, call somebody, order straight away, walk past the bottle shop or leave the room for a few minutes. What we're doing is we're trying to make sure the first move isn't alcohol.
Include the end of the night and the morning after
Alcohol makes tomorrow look like one short moment: the glass in our hand and the feeling at the beginning. So think past it. How do we want the night to end? What conversation do we want to remember? What do we need our head and body for the next morning?
We're simply including the part of the decision that the first-drink picture leaves out, without frightening ourselves with the worst possible result.
Leave room for the plan to change
The dinner might run late. Somebody may say something we didn't expect. We could feel more uncomfortable than we imagined. A plan isn't a promise that the night will behave.
What matters is knowing our non-negotiable part and having another route. We aren't drinking. If staying becomes too difficult, we leave. If the first plan falls apart, we use the simpler one rather than treating the whole night as lost.
A few minutes spent thinking tomorrow through won't remove every urge. But it stops us spending today quietly talking ourselves into a drink we said we didn't want.
— Brent