Every time I stopped drinking, I thought things would instantly get better.
But instead, things usually felt... dull.
Not terrible. Not dramatic. Just off. Like someone had turned the volume down on life.
Conversations, dinners, movies, and weekends all felt flat. Pretty much everything I used to look forward to felt weirdly empty.
I wasn’t exactly sad, but I wasn’t excited about anything either.
And I’d always end up wondering: Is this what sober life is supposed to feel like? Is this it?
It took me a long time to realize that what I was going through had a name: anhedonia.
Not everyone feels it. Some people quit drinking and start feeling better almost immediately. But for many of us, this dull, disconnected stretch shows up—quietly, and without warning.
And if you’re feeling it too, here’s the truth:
You’re not doing anything wrong.
You’re not broken.
You’re healing.
What Is Anhedonia?
Anhedonia is a term from psychology that basically means the inability to feel pleasure. It’s a real thing, and it happens to a lot of us when we quit drinking.
It doesn’t mean you’re depressed. It doesn’t mean sobriety isn’t working. It just means your brain is recalibrating after years of being artificially stimulated by alcohol.
In simple terms: your brain’s reward system is temporarily out of sync.
Why Does Life Feel So Flat After We Quit?
1. Alcohol Hijacked Our Pleasure System
Our brains naturally produce chemicals like dopamine and serotonin—the feel-good stuff. These help us feel joy when we do things like exercise, laugh, eat good food, or spend time with people we care about.
But alcohol short-circuits that system. It dumps a flood of feel-good chemicals into the brain all at once. Over time, the brain goes, “Whoa, this is too much,” and pulls back its sensitivity to those chemicals.
So when we stop drinking? There’s a gap. A lull. Our brain doesn’t react to normal pleasures the way it used to—because it’s still recovering from the artificial highs.
2. We Mistake Boredom for a Problem
I used to think, If life feels this boring without alcohol, maybe alcohol really was helping me live more fully. But here’s the thing: alcohol wasn’t adding anything real. It was just masking the flatness it had helped create in the first place.
It’s a trap. We feel low, we drink to fix it, we feel lower, we drink again.
That’s the cycle.
This Phase Is Normal—But It’s Not Permanent
I wish someone had told me this sooner: Anhedonia after quitting drinking is common. And it passes.
For most people, the fog starts to lift after a few weeks or months. The color comes back. Music starts to feel alive again. Jokes are actually funny. Nature feels amazing. Connection feels real.
It’s not all at once—but it happens. Gradually. Naturally.
How to Get Through the Dullness
1. Don’t Panic
First and foremost, don’t take this dullness as a sign that you’re failing. This isn’t the new “forever you.” This is just the middle part—the brain-reset zone. It’s awkward, but it’s healing.
2. Keep Showing Up to Life
Even if you don’t feel much right now, keep doing the things that used to bring joy—or things you’ve always wanted to try. Go for a walk. Cook something. See a movie. Play a game. Call a friend.
It might feel forced at first. That’s okay. You’re not faking it. You’re retraining your brain to find pleasure again.
3. Keep It Simple
Avoid the urge to chase stimulation—sugar, scrolling, overworking, drama. These are just replacement highs that keep your brain on a rollercoaster. What you actually need is consistency, rest, and real connection.
4. Notice the Small Wins
Joy doesn’t come back in one big moment. It sneaks in. A laugh you didn’t expect. A song that suddenly hits different. A quiet moment that feels… good. Catch those moments. They’re signs of progress.
So How Long Does This Last?
It depends.
Some people bounce back quickly. They stop drinking and within a couple of weeks, their energy and joy start returning. For others, it takes longer. A few months. Sometimes more. And in rare cases, it lingers well beyond that.
Most of us begin to feel something shift within 60 to 90 days of staying alcohol-free. The dullness softens. The color starts coming back. The moments begin to land again.
If you’re months in and still feeling stuck, that’s not unusual either—and it’s absolutely okay to talk to a therapist or professional. Especially if there’s depression, trauma, or burnout layered in. Getting help isn’t failure—it’s just smart recovery.
Life Isn’t Dull—It Just Takes Time to Feel Real Again
We tell ourselves we want “excitement,” but what we usually want is to feel alive.
Alcohol made us feel alive… for a little while. But it also numbed the real stuff. The deep, slow-burning kind of joy that doesn’t need a buzz to matter.
And that’s the thing we get to rediscover. That’s the gift of getting through this phase: we actually get to feel again.
Alcohol Didn’t Solve the Dullness—It Caused It
This part’s hard to hear, but it’s true: alcohol created the dullness. It wired our brains to need a shortcut. And when the shortcut’s gone, things feel slow and unexciting—until they don’t.
If you’re in that flat phase now, please know:
You’re not alone.
You’re not broken.
And you will feel better.
The fact that things feel dull right now doesn’t mean sobriety isn’t working.
It means it is.
And what’s on the other side of this isn’t just “okay.”
It’s real, grounded, durable joy.
And that’s something alcohol could never actually give you.
— Brent