We've probably all poured a drink while thinking about a problem.
At first, the tension drops. We stop going over every possibility and the problem feels further away.
That can feel like progress because our mind isn't working as hard. But feeling less bothered by a problem isn't the same as solving it.
Alcohol gives us distance for a while
Sometimes we do need to stop thinking about a problem and come back tomorrow.
The problem is that alcohol doesn't just stop us thinking about it. It also affects judgement, memory and self-control.
So we might send the message, agree to something, spend money or have the conversation while our thinking is getting less reliable. Other times, we do nothing at all and wake up with the same problem waiting.
The next day often starts further back
If drinking disturbed our sleep, we may have less patience and concentration the next morning.
Now we're trying to make the decision through a foggy morning. We avoid it again, do the easier work and tell ourselves we'll deal with it later.
Then the delay creates more pressure, which makes another drink look deserved at the end of the day. So alcohol has made things harder even though it had nothing to do with the original problem.
Know when to stop thinking about it
We don't need to solve everything the moment it appears.
So it may help to write down what we know, what we don't know and what we can actually do next. Then we decide when we'll come back to it.
Once that's done, we can step away without using alcohol to force the mind to stop. A walk, food, a shower or an ordinary evening might not erase the problem. They also won't add a hangover to it.
Some problems need us to do something uncomfortable
We may already know what needs doing.
The call has to be made. The numbers need checking. We need to say no, ask for help or admit something isn't working.
Alcohol makes avoidance easier for one evening. Afterwards, the action is usually still uncomfortable and may now be more urgent. So we start smaller if we need to. That might mean opening the document and writing the first line, booking the appointment or deciding who we need to speak to.
A clear next step may not give us the instant relief of a drink. But it does start dealing with the problem.
— Brent