A drinking thought doesn't always mean we truly want alcohol. Sometimes we've worked too long, missed a meal or spent the whole day dealing with other people's problems.
By the evening, everything feels harder. And because alcohol used to be our quickest way to change how we felt, the thought appears: "I need a drink."
The thing is, low energy can make an old answer look far more convincing than it did earlier in the day.
We may not notice we're running down
Many of us are used to pushing through. We can work while hungry, keep going after a bad night and tell ourselves we'll rest when things calm down.
But things may not calm down. We simply reach the end of the day with less patience and fewer options in our head.
That doesn't make alcohol necessary. It means we're trying to make the decision when we're tired and not thinking as clearly.
Check what the feeling is asking for
Before we treat every uncomfortable feeling as a craving, it helps to ask a few basic questions.
Have we eaten? Are we thirsty? Have we been sitting in front of a screen for hours? Are we angry about something we haven't dealt with? Do we need ten quiet minutes without another person asking us for something?
Sometimes food or rest changes the feeling. Other times, the alcohol thought stays. Either way, we've learned something useful instead of immediately following the old routine.
Alcohol was taking energy too
We can forget how much energy drinking used.
There was the late night, the poor sleep, the slow morning and the effort of getting ourselves going again. Then we needed more energy to hide the fact that we felt rough.
So we told ourselves alcohol helped us recover from a demanding life, even though it was making the next day harder. Once alcohol is gone, looking after the basics has a chance to work because we're not undoing it again every evening.
Protecting energy isn't a perfect routine
This isn't about building a flawless morning routine, eating perfectly or avoiding every stressful person. It might mean eating before a late meeting, taking a planned break, finishing one task tomorrow or saying no when we genuinely don't have anything left. And on some days, it could mean doing very little beyond what needs to be done.
We just want to stop arriving at our usual drinking time completely worn out and taking that feeling as proof that we need alcohol.
— Brent